5/8/2019 0 Comments
The Single Girls Guide on How to Handle Being Stood Up Not Once (But Twice) on the Same Weekend (Part 1)
There is none.
But seriously, I wish I could say that I handled myself in textbook manner when being stood up the first time and then excelled with flying colors the second time it happened. BUT I can't. Being stood up SUCKS! And how'd I get so lucky to have this happen to me twice in one weekend?
Let me share a bit about both situations and how I wish I acted instead.
The First Time.
So, I guess in actuality this was my third time being stood up in the past 4 months or so. Twice by Mr. Woe is Me I'm about to tell you about. Woe is Me and I have known each other since college. After college, we parted ways but always interacted with each other on social media. One day we decided to take things 'to the next level' whatever that means.
What I found out it meant was tons of excuses of how he was soooo busy at work (Entertainment Producer) and that we needed to keep things spontaneous for when we hung out. So I tried that (which for me also a Producer is actually quite hard. I like to schedule my life amongst the chaos. At least loosely.) which meant after he forgot to tell me his plane was delayed (Can you believe that?) we then had a 'spontaneous hang out' because GOD FORBID we use the word date the following week at 11:30pm.
I would've much rather been 10am MONDAY MORNING COFFEE GIRL.
Why didn't I ditch him there you ask? Well, I thought I felt a spark?! It's kind of hard to tell when you meet at 11:30pm at a place you've chosen because Mr. Woe is Me is a horrible planner as well.
And we were friends in college right? I'll let it slide. He's not like this.
Until last Thursday.
Plans were in motion, I was dressed and ready to go and then he disappears. I didn't hear from him the whole rest of the night. His phone goes straight to VM and I'm thinking it's the plane situation all over again.
First text: Hey, so where are we meeting again? I guess I missed that.
Second text: So you should be finished editing now right? You can't still be editing.
Phone Call: Goes straight to VM. I don't bother to leave a message.
Third Text: What's going on? You better not be standing me up again.
Fourth Text: Fuck You, don't ever contact me again. I can't believe I was dumb enough to let you stand me up twice.
*Not exact messages, but CLOSE ENOUGH.
Cue Waterworks. Cue Multiple Phone Calls with my Mom asking her "What's wrong with me?" you know that whole drill.
Honestly, God Bless My Mom several times over please.
Before I give you "The Single Girl's Guide on How to Handle Being Stood Up Not Once (But Twice) on the Same Weekend " there's just a few more important details.
So, Mr. Woe is Me texts me the next day saying blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Well not exactly BUT I guess his phone froze AND AS A RESULT OF THAT he forgot he had a computer, a phone at work, and lots of social media channels he could've contacted me on.
I then engage. Yes, I know…I'm sorry ladies.
That engagement leads to him saying…
Why do you keep repeating I stood you up twice? Don't you think I know that? And that it sucks? Well if you knew why'd you do it twice?
I've been stood up before, I understand it sucks. Really, Do you???
You don't even care that I had to fly across country without my phone this morning. You're right I don't.
I'm a nice guy. But are you? Standing a girl up twice doesn't really qualify as nice in my book.
I don't think we should see each other anymore. Well, I think standing me up twice sealed that deal buddy.
And lot's of other nonsense that I don't feel like repeating.
Here's what I should've done and hope that you can remember to do if this ever happens to you. Which I would NEVER EVER want and YES I know it's hard to be rational in the moment.
Remember you're a beautiful Queen and Know Your Worth!
P.S. Stay tuned for Part 2 of The Single Girl's Guide on How to Handle Being Stood Up Not Once (But Twice) on the Same Weekend.
As Boss Babes the above title is something that we need to remember. Sometimes it's not just about the money. We have to think about how something will help us overall. Is it getting us closer to our actual goals? Or is it merely going to just bring us a paycheck? And okay, so maybe it won't bring you closer to your goals, but will it make you happy for that time period? If the answer is no, why are you doing it? Remember "it's not about the money, money, money" especially if that isn't going to bring you happiness or help you reach your overall goals. I was reminded of this on my last freelance project and thought I'd share with you.
Ever since I've started this blog I've vowed not only in my blog life but in my actual life to take on projects that make me happy, have a deeper purpose or meaning, or will overall help me towards my final goals. What are my final goals? Well, I work in the entertainment industry and I don't just want to Produce but I want to create shows that will have a positive impact on the world in some sort of way. Especially with women. I want my fellow women to feel encouraged by what they see on tv or know that whatever shows I create I'm creating jobs for other women. I want to be able to teach and inspire the next generation of Hollywood voices.
And I had been doing just that.
Yes, I had to cut back extremely on some lifestyle choices. No more weekly shopping sprees or spur of the moment trips or eating out every night BUT I was okay with that.
I was Producing small projects that were my own. I knew these projects would eventually lead to bigger things. I was also building a community of women through my blog and instagram who I loved. It felt amazing to be able to encourage and inspire women through my voice and content. I was doing exactly what I set out to do.
BUT things got tough.
I went to South Africa (as some of you saw but if you didn't check out the two articles I wrote here and here.) which was amazing!! But then the holidays hit and work in the freelance entertainment world was slow. And then of course I had the brilliant idea to throw a Galentine's Day party that I had not really prepared for. BUT my Producer brain was seizing that opportunity and I'm glad I took it because it showed me what I could do with nothing.
So, when I had a job opportunity come up that was a step below Producing I had to think twice about taking it. After thinking twice, I ended up taking it. I should not have. Whenever I work with this person I'm absolutely miserable but I thought, this time will be different and think of ALL THE MONEY.
Spoiler Alert: The money isn't always worth it if you're doing something that's off your path.
Yes, I made a ton of money off of this project but I was working 20hr days in a toxic environment. NOT WORTH IT!
I then turned down multiple Producing jobs during that time period because I was already on this dreaded project. One thing about work (and God) is that something will always come up when you need it to. These missed job opportunities I believe were my reminder to never compromise again.
My blog also suffered and all my plans I had to move forward with some brilliant ideas (that I can't wait to bring and share with all of you) got put on hold for TWO months I'm realizing as I'm writing this..
I can't say that the experience was 100% horrible though, because from it I remembered that I need to always do things with my end goals in mind. It also reminded me to never take things for the money and don't take/do things that won't add value to your life.
Part of being a Boss Babe is learning from your past experiences so you can grow moving forward. I'm definitely taking this as a learning experience AND I'm excited to be on the path I'm supposed to be on for my life again.
If you take anything from this post, I hope you remember that although money can provide us with great things, "It's not about the Money, Money, Money" if it makes you unhappy and ultimately you aren't moving closer to your goals.
Have you ever done something for the money that you later regretted? Let me know your story below.
Single. LA Living. Loves: Traveling, Fashion, and Beauty. Has A Really Cute Doggy. Constantly Navigating my Crazy Thoughts on Dating and Men. Ready for the Journey?
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